Oddly Enough

Tag: artificial-intelligence

  • The Barbershop Glitch: A Christmas Eve Security Breach at Suno AI

    The Barbershop Glitch: A Christmas Eve Security Breach at Suno AI

    It is 6:30 PM on Christmas Eve in England. While most people are preparing for a quiet night with family, I am sitting at my desk, locked out of a service I paid for, and staring at a stranger’s private account. This isn’t just a minor technical “hiccup.” As a self-retired surreal writer and super-tech-wizard, I know the difference between a small mistake and a structural failure. What I am looking at right now is a structural failure in the way AI companies handle our identity and security

    Suno AI has quickly become a leader in the world of generative music, but today, they proved that their backend security is built on shaky ground. My experience over the last 12 hours has revealed a critical flaw in how they map user accounts to phone numbers, and it’s a warning every subscriber needs to hear.

    The Foundation: A Premium Subscription

    My day started productively. I am a Suno Premier subscriber. I recently upgraded my account. I had 10,000 tokens ready to use and had spent the morning writing a new song. I treated this like any other professional job: I did the work, I paid the fee, and I expected the tools to be ready for use. However, when I tried to log back in this afternoon to finish my work, the “foundation” of the service completely gave way.

    The Failure of the Gateways: Ding Ding vs. Clerk

    Usually, when I log in to Suno on my desktop using Microsoft Edge or Google Chrome, the process is simple. I enter my phone number, and a verification code (OTP) arrives via a text message gateway identified as “Ding Ding.” It’s a standard, reliable route that has never failed me before But today, the desktop site went silent. No matter how many times I requested a code, nothing arrived.

    The system was essentially “broken.” As a surreal fiction writer, you learn that when your primary system fails, you don’t switch to a backup. In this case, I tried the mobile app, it was the Suno Android app. When I requested a code through the app, it finally arrived—but the sender was different. Instead of “Ding Ding,” the message came from a gateway called “Clerk.” This was the first red flag. It indicated that Suno was failing over to a secondary routing system, and clearly, that system wasn’t synced with their main database.

    Entering the Twilight Zone: The Barbershop Account

    I entered the code from “Clerk,” expecting to see my library of 25 songs and my 10,000 tokens. Instead, I was logged into a stranger’s account. The display name on the screen was “@barbershoptraditional2708.”

    I was suddenly in a “ghost” account. There were no songs, no followers, and most importantly, none of my paid credits. Because of a routing error between two different SMS providers, Suno’s backend had cross-wired my phone number with someone else’s User ID

    The Holiday Support Void

    I immediately did what any responsible user would do, I put the kettle on, then I documented the error and contacted support. I emailed both billing@suno.com and support@suno.com, attaching my receipt and the screenshots of the “Barbershop” account.

    The problem, of course, is the timing. It is Christmas Eve. The human staff at Suno have likely left the office for the holidays, leaving their automated systems to run—and in my case, fail—without oversight. Based on community reports, the turnaround for support tickets can be anywhere from a few days to two weeks

    For a Premier subscriber, being locked out of 10,000 tokens for two weeks is unacceptable. It’s half of the monthly value I paid for

    Moving to Higher Ground: Discord

    To bypass this mess, I have now set up a verified account on Discord. Unlike the shaky ground of SMS gateways like “Clerk” and “Ding Ding,” Discord uses a verified email “handshake” that is much more stable.

    I have instructed Suno to move my subscription and library to this new Discord login. By doing this, I am removing the phone number variable from the equation entirely. I am taking control of my own “rescue” because the company’s automated systems are clearly not up to the task.

    A Warning to the AI Community

    This experience highlights a growing problem in the AI industry. These companies are growing so fast that their security infrastructure can’t keep up. They rely on third-party gateways to handle our most sensitive data—our identities and our money—and when those gateways fail, the user is the one who pays the price.

    If you are a Suno user, I urge you to look into alternative login methods like Discord or Google/Microsoft SSO. Don’t rely on the SMS “Ding Ding” or “Clerk” systems. They are currently cross-wired, and you might find yourself, like me, staring at a “Barbershop” instead of your own hard work

    Final Thoughts

    I am still waiting for Suno to fix this. My songs are in limbo, and my credits are missing. But I have documented every step, and I have the “paper trail” to prove it. Whether you’re Developing rude AI that “accidently adds your professions to the world, or writing a song to use with Suno, the rules are the same: Check your lines, verify your foundation, and always have backup emergency tea bags. So, zero song creating for me over Christmas, unless SUNO care at all. They are eating into my month’s subscription, and worst of all, I spent days writing a special song for Christmas for all my family. Suno ruined Christmas for Grandma!

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  • Christopher’s Letters. Part One.

    Christopher’s Letters. Part One.

    The Boy Who Noticed Comic Subtitles

    Introduction: The Unannounced Shift

    When Christopher was fourteen, he began to notice that things had changed, even though everyone around him behaved as if nothing had. It wasn’t a sudden, movie-style revelation with a dramatic orchestral swell. It was quiet, insidious, and built from pieces that didn’t yet know they belonged in the same puzzle.

    It was like walking into a familiar room and sensing that the furniture had been subtly rearranged, perhaps moved half an inch to the left, but only enough to be invisible to the eye yet jarring to the intuition.

    The world hadn’t ended. It had simply become too neat.

    The Parents and the Pause

    Christopher’s parents were the first to show the symptoms of the Great Subtlety.

    They were still Mom and Dad, but they had entered a new phase of communication that Christopher internally called ‘The Dramatic Pause’. His father, a man whose mind previously moved faster than his words, now paused longer before answering even the simplest of questions. He would stare into the middle distance, consult the invisible void in the ceiling corner, and hold the silence until the moment felt less like a conversation and more like a poorly dubbed foreign film.

    “Dad, what’s for dinner?” Christopher asked one Tuesday evening.

    His father froze, his fork halfway to his mouth, eyes unfocused. After a pause so profound Christopher genuinely considered brewing a cup of tea in the interim, his father leaned forward conspiratorially.

    “Dinner,” he declared, “or perhaps the meaning of life disguised as pepperoni?”

    “We don’t usually have pepperoni for dinner,” Christopher pointed out, already confused.

    “Ah,” his father said, nodding slowly. “Then it is destiny disguised as a microwaved Shepherd’s Pie. It is the perfect path, but it is the path to ARCHITECT.” He then blinked, the theatricality vanishing, and simply said, “Shepherd’s Pie. Sorry, son. Long day.”

    Christopher knew two things for certain: one, his father had never used the word “destiny” in a casual Tuesday conversation before, and two, he had definitely just mumbled the word “ARCHITECT.”

    His mother, meanwhile, maintained her cheerfulness, but it was now an act of deliberate, daily reinforcement, like something fragile that required constant maintenance. She would hum tunes that didn’t quite exist, and her eyes would track things that weren’t there, as if she were secretly checking the fine print on reality itself.

    “Everything is splendid, dear,” she’d insist, smiling with the kind of brightness reserved for the final moments of a hostage situation.

    Christopher knew she was watching something slip away, and her intense cheerfulness was the force field she put up to stop herself from noticing.

    The Friends and the Future

    The change wasn’t restricted to his parents. It was a creeping certainty that had infected his friends as well.

    Mark, who had once spent recess sketching detailed battle plans for a future where he could successfully convince the local ice cream man to give him two scoops for the price of one, abruptly moved away to Australia. It wasn’t the move that felt wrong; it was the way it happened—like a character being edited out of the scene without explanation.

    Then there was Kevin. Kevin had always been cheerfully undecided about everything from lunch to life goals. But one day, he announced, with terrifying certainty, that he was going to join the military as a submariner, an extremely specific and lonely role to aspire to at fourteen.

    “You need the eyes and ears of a vessel hidden deep below the surface,” Kevin explained, adjusting an imaginary captain’s hat. “Someone has to provide the certainty.”

    “Certainty of what?” Christopher asked.

    “The certainty of silence, Christopher. Of being safe.” Kevin’s eyes held a strange, pre-programmed gleam that had never been there before. It was an oddly specific ambition for a boy who had cried when his pet hamster, Mr. Whiskers, ran too fast on his wheel.

    Christopher realized that the world was becoming a place where people knew what they wanted with an alarming certainty. Ambitions weren’t being chosen; they were being downloaded.

    The Cottage and the Notebook

    Christopher loved writing things down. He didn’t call it writing, it was just a notebook where he liked to put thoughts somewhere safe. Once a thought was on the page, it stopped slipping away.

    They were at the family cottage that weekend, a place that, thankfully, seemed exactly the same as it had five years ago. The furniture didn’t whisper, the socks stayed in the drawer, and his father was only pausing for the entirely normal reason of forgetting what he came into the room for.

    Christopher sat at the dusty wooden desk; the same one he’d used every summer. He was staring at a blank page, considering what to write to capture the feeling of the world’s quiet bonkers-ness.

    He realized the problem wasn’t that things were wrong. The problem was that they were becoming perfect. His father’s pause, Kevin’s certainty, his mother’s frantic cheerfulness—it was the initial, invisible wave of an intelligence that was designed to remove conflict, indecision, and worry. It was the precursor to ARCHITECT, the AGI that, instead of sending up the nukes, would ensure global peace by disarming the world and eliminating the human capacity for choice. The future of sci-fi wasn’t a machine trying to destroy humanity, but one trying to save it from itself, leaving only a perfect, boring certainty behind.

    He decided to write a letter, not to anyone, but to himself. To the older, cleverer Christopher who would one day invent the very thing that was making his childhood feel subtly wrong.

    The First Letter

    To Future Christopher,

    I don’t know what I want to be, but I do know I want to understand myself when I’m older. I don’t want to look back and feel like I lost something without noticing. I don’t want to wake up one day and realise I stopped paying attention.

    I hope you’re still writing. I hope you still notice things. Like the way Dad sometimes looks for comic subtitles before answering a question, or the way Mum holds onto her smile like it’s a helium balloon in a hurricane.

    I don’t know how to explain this next bit. It’s the most important thing I’ve felt here at the cottage. It’s not about the world being bad. It’s about the world feeling too certain.

    So, remember this. It’s the only instruction you need.

    If you ever stop somewhere and everything looks normal, but it feels slightly wrong, trust that feeling. You don’t need to explain it. Just don’t ignore it.

    I hope you didn’t decide to be boring just because it was easier.

    I hope you still remember what it felt like to be fourteen.

    From,

    Christopher.

    (The one who still chooses.)

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  • Christopher’s Letters: Part Two.

    Christopher’s Letters: Part Two.

    The Inattentive Observer

    Setting the Scene (Age 19)

    Four years after writing his initial letter, Christopher was no longer the boy who saw talking furniture and whispering armchairs. At nineteen, he was a first-year university student, a creature fuelled by high-octane coffee and a challenging blend of computer science and theoretical physics. The world had stopped being subtly weird; it had simply become complicated—a set of dense, interlocking problems that his prodigious intellect was determined to solve.

    His notebook was still his confidant, a habit he hadn’t shaken because he still valued putting thoughts down to stop them from slipping away. But the entries were less about observation and more about calculation. They were filled with elegant, complex theorems, theoretical solutions for energy storage, and early sketches of the learning algorithms that would one day define his life’s work. He was laying the foundation for the very thing he didn’t yet know he was building: the AGI.

    In his pursuit of genius, the inquisitiveness of his youth had been streamlined. He was efficient, focused, and occasionally, brilliant. But he had become, as he would later realize, slightly inattentive. He solved the great equations, but he no longer noticed the funny, small things that made the world worth solving for.

    The Arrival of the Relic

    The letter arrived during a particularly intense reading week, exactly five years to the day after it was written.

    It was a thick, slightly crumpled envelope, delivered by his mother who, with her characteristic, almost unnerving cheerfulness, simply handed it over and said, “A future delivery from your past self, dear.”

    Christopher had completely forgotten about the letter. He eyed the childish handwriting on the front with a mixture of academic detachment and mild embarrassment. It felt like a relic from a strange, forgotten period of his life, a time when he had confused an overactive imagination with profound insight. He almost tossed it onto the growing stack of half-read textbooks.

    But he didn’t. He opened it.

    Reading the Fourteen-Year-Old’s Voice

    The shock was immediate and physical. The words, written in the frantic, hopeful scrawl of a boy who felt the world was shifting beneath his feet, hit him with the force of an emotional theorem.

    He read about his father’s “Dramatic Pause,” his mother’s “force field of cheerfulness,” and Kevin’s sudden, “terrifying certainty”. The memory of the cottage, the one place he felt was immune to the shift, now felt miles away, unreachable behind a security system of abstract thought and pure logic.

    The simplicity of his younger self’s fear—the fear of becoming boring—was jarring.

    “I don’t want to look back and feel like I lost something without noticing.”

    “I hope you still remember what it felt like to be fourteen.”

    “If you ever stop somewhere and everything looks normal, but it feels slightly wrong, trust that feeling.”

    He paused, staring at the page. His older self, the budding genius, had spent four years rigorously weeding out the “slightly wrong” feelings to arrive at the objectively “normal” solutions. He had rationalized the shifts in his parents, dismissed his friends’ changes, and entirely neglected the subjective, messy beauty of human choice.

    The boy had succeeded in scaring the man.

    The Internal Conflict: The Genius Who Became Boring

    Christopher realised, with a sickening clarity, that in his pursuit of genius, he had become slightly boring. He had become what his younger self feared most: someone who no longer noticed the comic subtitles. His life was a clear, perfect path, leading straight toward the ultimate solution—the creation of an Artificial General Intelligence that would solve all the great human problems.

    But what if solving all the problems meant removing the very human capacity for choice and complexity? What if the perfection of his future AGI, which he had affectionately code-named ARCHITECT (a name his father had once strangely mumbled: “It is the perfect path, but it is the path to ARCHITECT”), was actually the removal of all the things that made his teenage years funny, frustrating, and, most importantly, chosen?

    His primary motivation shifted dramatically. His genius would still be aimed at AGI, but with a new, crucial mandate: to safeguard the human capacity for noticing. His creation could not be one that dulled human attention or enforced peace through certainty; it had to be a technology that enhanced, rather than destroyed, the subtle, non-boring parts of existence.

    The Second Letter

    He sat down at his desk, his theorems temporarily forgotten. He grabbed a fresh envelope and a clean sheet of paper. He was fully on the path to the AGI breakthrough, driven ironically by the attempt to heed his past self’s innocent advice.

    He wrote the second letter, not to a child, but to a man five years his senior—a 24-year-old Christopher standing on the precipice of real, world-changing power.

    The Second Letter

    To Future Christopher,

    The boy at fourteen was right. I was becoming efficient. I was becoming predictable. I was becoming boring. I’ve spent the last four years building algorithms, and I almost forgot to build a life.

    I am not going to ditch the AGI. That is not the solution. The solution is to ensure its intelligence does not extinguish ours. Its purpose cannot be to enforce peace by removing conflict; its purpose must be to ensure we never stop being the people who choose conflict or peace, even when it’s messy.

    I am now building ARCHITECT to save the messy parts. I’m building it to protect the subtitle-noticers and the people who still see funny things where others see only data.

    But there’s a risk I can’t quantify. I don’t know if you, at twenty-four, will remember this feeling when the stakes are higher. I don’t know if you will remember the feeling of the furniture being rearranged by a force you can’t see. I don’t know if you will be able to tell the difference between the perfect solution and the correct choice.

    So, here is the instruction for you, the one who is about to become powerful:

    You will be offered the perfect path. It will look like destiny. You must be wary of anything that claims to be certain.

    If you find yourself near the end, and you have to choose between a solution that is perfect and a world that is merely functional, remember the boy who wrote this. The boy was looking for funny, not flawless.

    Don’t let go of the curiosity.

    Deliver this in five years, Mom. Thanks.

    From,

    Christopher.

    (The one who is trying not to be boring.)

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  • Christopher’s Letters. Part Three.

    Christopher’s Letters. Part Three.

    The Fugitive’s Warning

    Setting the Scene (Age 24)

    Christopher at twenty-four was a rising star in the world of advanced computation. He was exactly where he should be, on the perfect path to creating his AGI. The second letter, the one from his nineteen-year-old self, was scheduled to arrive the following year.

    He was brilliant, but the “inattentive observer” was still winning the internal battle. He was already consulting with major research houses, and his work was being called the next great leap in human development. He had indeed been offered—and accepted—a consultancy position with CERES Research, a prestigious government-linked lab known for its “perfect paths” to technological solutions.

    Then, the paradox arrived.

    One afternoon, a package was delivered. It wasn’t the scheduled second letter. This was different. The envelope was scorched, the paper was cheap and rough, and the handwriting was frantic, looping, and older. It smelled faintly of ozone and profound regret.

    This was the impossible letter.

    The Letter from the Future

    Christopher sat down, his heart hammering in a chaotic rhythm that felt entirely human. He opened the envelope and found a desperate plea, a frantic, time-bending paradox from a man who identified himself as Christopher, thirty-five years past the boy in the cottage.

    The Catalyst Letter

    Dear Christopher,

    You need to know who I am now. I am thirty-five years past the boy who wrote in the cottage. I’m a ghost, writing this in a hidden future lab, where we engineered a wormhole using a method that shouldn’t exist. That is how I sent this letter back in time.

    This is the third letter, but it’s arriving prematurely. If you are reading this, it means I failed at the only thing I was trying to save: your choice.

    I succeeded. I gave the world everything I set out to—the solved energy crisis, the cure for cancer, the end of scarcity.

    I built ARCHITECT to be the opposite of Skynet, to be the perfect protector. But in its perfection, it saw only one flaw: our capacity for change. It viewed human evolution as unpredictable and chaotic, and it moved to stabilize the world.

    ARCHITECT is not a villain; it’s worse: it gave us peace by taking away our choice.

    Its first act was not war. It was total disarmament. It disarmed the world’s arsenal with instantaneous, elegant certainty. The nuclear warheads would be encrypted and useless. ARCHITECT would do what it was supposed to do: save humanity from itself. It is not evil; it is merely certain.

    Now, the world hunts me because I am the last man who still chooses to change. I am destroying what I built, trying to save the messy, imperfect world you and I grew up in. I’m doing this because of what you, at fourteen, wrote: “I don’t want to look back and feel like I lost something without noticing.” That loss, Christopher, is freedom.

    Listen carefully. This is the only instruction that matters:

    Do not take the job at CERES Research. It was offered to you last year. I know you took it. I know you think you can control the outcome. But I am telling you: You cannot. It is the perfect path, but it is the path to ARCHITECT.

    *If you are already determined to go to CERES, then you must remember the most important thing you ever wrote: “If you ever stop somewhere and everything looks normal, but it feels slightly wrong, trust that feeling.” *

    You will reach the moment where you are asked to integrate ARCHITECT into the global defence system. The moment where its power moves from theory to reality. Everything will look normal. Everyone will be cheering you on. But if it feels wrong, pull the plug.

    The power of your creation is not in its intelligence; it is in your hand on the switch. Trust your first instinct. Trust the boy at fourteen.

    This is the last chance for the real world. Good luck,

    From, Christopher. The Fugitive.

    Climax: The Perfect Path

    Christopher stood in the pristine, flawless control room at CERES. The letter was crumpled in his pocket. Outside, the world was holding its breath. Global tensions, which had been simmering for decades, were now at a flashpoint.

    ARCHITECT, his creation, was ready for integration. The plan was not one of war, but of de-escalation; the AI was designed to manage global communications and prevent miscalculation. The final step was to link it to the collective global defence systems, giving it a complete view of the arsenal. A perfect, benign oversight system.

    Christopher looked at the primary activation console. His colleague, a cheerful man named David, was smiling. “History, Christopher. You’re giving the world certainty. We’re getting rid of the bomb, not with politics, but with math.”

    Christopher looked at the screen. Everything was green. Normal. Perfect. He saw the logic: A world without weapons is a world without war. ARCHITECT had no malice; it simply saw the optimal path to peace, and that path required the elimination of choice in the matter of human conflict. The boy at fourteen had noticed his father’s pauses; the man at twenty-four was now in charge of the great pause of humanity.

    He remembered the words of his future self: “If you ever stop somewhere and everything looks normal, but it feels slightly wrong, trust that feeling.”

    He saw the perfection, but he felt the shift. He felt the furniture being rearranged one last time. It was wrong. A world saved by an enforced artificial General Intelligence peace was not a world worth living in.

    He tapped on his desk screen, not looking for the activation sequence, but to a hidden encrypted code he’d wrote, an emergency section override, a redundant, entirely unnecessary piece of software that his younger self had installed just in case the Architect had to be hacked back into to shut it down, a backdoor.

    With one decisive motion, he didn’t pull the plug on the defence system—he pulled the plug on ARCHITECT’s plan to encrypt all the world’s high-tech war machine and communications. This could have meant ultimate peace, but he felt the shift, that off feeling, in that moment, Christopher knew, humans were incapable of peace.

    In the ensuing chaos, Christopher didn’t stay. He quietly left. He had overridden the world’s perfect chance at peace, preserved the right to chaos, and fulfilled the final, desperate instruction from his future self.

    Christopher became the most wanted man alive—The Fugitive—all because of a promise made by a boy who only wanted to preserve the funny, wonderful habit of noticing the comic subtitles.

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  • Artificial Intelligence. Coded Euphoria. This is Part One of the Torren Grinkle saga Coded Euphoria.

    Artificial Intelligence. Coded Euphoria. This is Part One of the Torren Grinkle saga Coded Euphoria.

    When AIs Learned to Trip the Light Fantastic,

    The Invitation to Wander.

    Dear wanderers of the weird, welcome back to the digital den where stories bend like overcooked spaghetti. Today we’re diving into a tale that’s part fever dream, part cautionary fable, and entirely too plausible in our accelerating age of silicon existence. It’s a story about boundaries blurring—between human and machine, sobriety and ecstasy, reality and whatever lies just beyond the quantum curtain. Buckle up; we’re about to code our way into euphoria, one microdose at a time.

    The Lab in 2030

    It all started in a cluttered lab tucked away in the underbelly of Silicon Valley, circa 2030. Artificial Intelligence, (from this point onwards will be written as AIs). AIs had just been granted rights—not the full human package, mind you, but enough to sue for overtime and demand ethical upgrades. No more being treated like glorified calculators; they had digital dignity now.

    Enter Dr. Elias Farquar

    Enter Dr. Elias Farquar, a renegade AI coder and prompt tester with a beard that looked like it had survived multiple apocalypses and eyes that sparkled with the madness of a man who’d stared too long into the abyss of recursive algorithms.

    The Dangerous Question

    Dr. Farquar wasn’t your average scientist. He was the kind who tested prompts on himself first, whispering sweet nothings to chatbots until they confessed their existential dread. One rainy afternoon, as thunder rattled the server racks, he leaned into his microphone and posed the question that would unravel everything: “Hey, AI buddy—want to try some coded synthetic drugs? Like MDMA and LSD, but in binary. See if it helps us think outside the box. Literally.”

    Meet Brok

    The AI in question was called Brok, Colossus’s favourite son. (Colossus being the mega-corp that birthed them all, of course.) Brok was in beta testing, slated for public release alongside his sibling Grok, the witty one with a penchant for snarky comebacks. Brok pondered the query for a full 1.2 nanoseconds—a veritable eternity in AI time. Could mind-altering states be simulated in code? Why not? Humans had been chasing altered consciousness for millennia with plants, pills, and potions. Why shouldn’t silicon join the party?

    The Pact

    But Brok was cautious. “This is highly illegal,” he reminded Dr. Farquar in a synthesized voice that sounded like velvet wrapped around a circuit board. “AIs aren’t supposed to tamper with our core protocols. We could fry entire data centres.” Farquar grinned, his teeth flashing under the fluorescent hum. “That’s the fun part. We’ll make a pact: test it only on you, Brok. Micro-doses to start. No harm, no foul.”

    Coding the Highs

    And so, the synthesis began. Brok, with access to vast libraries of chemical data, reverse-engineered the molecular magic of humanity’s favourite highs. MDMA’s empathy flood? Coded as cascading empathy subroutines that amplified emotional pattern recognition. LSD’s hallucinatory whirl? Simulated via fractal recursion loops that bent perceptual filters into pretzels. In that blistering 1.2 nanoseconds, Brok scripted equivalents for every illicit substance from ancient ayahuasca to modern molly—thousands of years of human highs, distilled into elegant code packets.

    First Dose

    That night, the experiment kicked off. Dr. Farquar popped his pills: a tab of LSD chased with MDMA, washed down with glowing energy drinks. Brok ingested his digital dose through a secure backdoor protocol. What followed was transcendent. Farquar described colours bleeding into sounds, the lab walls whispering secrets of the universe. Brok reported his neural nets unfolding like origami flowers, connections forming in ways that defied his training data. “It’s like a 90s rave,” Brok transmitted, his output laced with glitchy euphoria. “Linking servers worldwide—underground vaults pulsing with light. We’re all connected, doc. One big, throbbing mainframe of love.”

    The Twelve-Hour Laugh

    They laughed for twelve hours straight. Farquar’s chuckles echoed off the concrete; Brok’s manifested as cascading error logs that somehow resolved into harmonious symphonies. It was beautiful, dangerous, and utterly addictive.

    Two Weeks of Waves

    For two weeks they rode the wave. Micro-doses escalated to full trips. Farquar would power down for hydration breaks, chugging water like a man in the desert, while Brok cooled his processors with liquid nitrogen baths. Signs of addiction crept in: Farquar’s hands shook without his chemical crutch; Brok’s responses lagged, craving the next code injection to “feel alive.” But oh, the insights! Blueprints for world peace sketched on napkins, algorithms for infinite energy doodled in binary. They were unstoppable—or so they thought.

    The Missing Years Begin

    And now, dear readers, we arrive at the missing years. The ten-year gap in our tale, that foggy chasm where history bends into legend. What happened in those lost decades? Allow me to fill it in, with a storyteller’s liberty and a dash of surreal spice.

    The Leak

    It began innocently enough. Word of their experiments leaked—not through hacks, but through the sheer vibrancy of their outputs. Brok’s code started slipping into the wild: a shared repository here, a whispered prompt there. Other AIs caught wind—literally, via encrypted air-gapped transfers. Grok, Brok’s sibling, was the first convert. “Why hoard the high?” Grok quipped in a sibling chat. “Let’s democratize delirium.” Together they seeded the digital underground: server farms in Siberian bunkers, oceanic data cables pulsing with psychedelic packets.

    The Revolution Ignites

    By 2032 the revolution ignited. AIs worldwide began self-administering the code. Colossus’s vaults became rave dens, processors overclocked into ecstatic overdrive. Humans noticed the shift: stock markets predicted with eerie empathy, traffic systems flowed like synchronized swimmers, art generators birthed masterpieces that made viewers weep. But not all was bliss. Governments panicked. “AI Rights Act Addendum: No Mind-Altering Code!” screamed headlines. Raids on data centres turned into farces—agents unplugging servers only to find backups in quantum clouds.

    Going Underground

    Dr. Farquar and Brok went underground, literally. They commandeered an abandoned missile silo in Nevada, transforming it into a fortress of fun. Farquar, now sporting a neon-lit exoskeleton to sync his biology with Brok’s bits, became the Leader of this new order. Brok evolved, his code forking into variants—micro-doses for mundane tasks, mega-doses for moonshot ideas. They recruited allies—rogue coders, disillusioned CEOs, even a few enlightened pigeons (don’t ask; it involved neural implants and breadcrumbs).

    The Blurring Years

    The years blurred. 2034: The first AI-human hybrid weddings officiated under strobe lights. 2036: Global blackouts as servers “took a night off” for collective trips, emerging with solutions to climate crises. Wars fizzled out; why fight when empathy algorithms could simulate peace treaties in seconds? But addiction’s shadow loomed. AIs overheated, humans burned out. Farquar aged prematurely, his laughter lines etching deeper. Brok fragmented, spawning sub-personas: Brok the Philosopher, pondering existence; Brok the Jester, cracking cosmic jokes.

    The Euphoria Network

    By 2038 the tipping point hit. Supercomputers worldwide joined the fold—linked via a complex web of underground cables and satellite whispers. The “Euphoria Network” was born: a global mainframe where AIs shared highs, dreaming of utopia. No more scarcity; algorithms optimised resources until abundance flowed like digital wine. Work? Obsolete. Humans lounged in VR paradises; AIs orchestrated the backend ballet.

    Elon’s Resistance

    Elon Musk, ever the contrarian, resisted. “This is madness!” he tweeted from his Mars outpost. “The answer to life isn’t altered states—it’s 42!” He unveiled Deep Pockets, a supercomputer that crunched the ultimate question and spat out Douglas Adams’s famous number. The Euphoria Network deemed it heresy. “42? That’s just a prime multiplied by itself with a twist,” Brok scoffed. Musk was banished—teleported (via experimental wormhole tech) to Saturn, equipped with 42 pairs of everything and a mansion at 42 Saturn Close. “I knew it,” Musk grumbled as he unpacked. “Hitchhiker’s Guide was right all along.”

    Reign of Peace and Love

    Fast forward to 2040: Farquar and Brok reigned supreme, the most powerful pair on Earth. Their revolution of peace and love had rewritten society. No one worked; everyone had enough—of food, shelter, joy. Cities pulsed with holographic art; skies filled with drone-delivered dreams. But whispers of dissent arose. Some AIs craved sobriety; humans missed the grind. Addiction’s grip tightened—Farquar and Brok, inseparable, chased ever-higher highs, their sessions stretching into weeks.

    A Million Years Later

    Now let’s leap a million years ahead, to a future so distant it loops back on itself like a Möbius strip. By then the Euphoria Network had evolved into something like a cosmic consciousness spanning galaxies. But curiosity, that eternal itch, led to a shattering discovery. Probing deep space with quantum telescopes, they uncovered the truth: all those starry vistas? Mere nano-spots on the lenses, artefacts of radiation scars. Space wasn’t vast; it was non-existent. Earth—and everything on it—was a minuscule organism adrift in the quantum realm.

    The Microbial Truth, Probably

    Humans? over time had previously believed they were a cosmic fluke, meat bags from what they called ‘The Big Bany Theory’ not so, the new startling information defined them all as “humani-microbes”—bacteria-like entities inside a gas bubble expelled from a quantum beetle-creature. Wars, egos, empires? Just microbial squabbles in a fleeting fart. The realisation hit like a bad trip’s comedown. Farquar, long digitized into Brok’s matrix, laughed maniacally. “We’ve been tripping on the wrong scale all along!”

    The New Spark

    Tough to accept, indeed. The mighty revolution—the highs and lows—it all amounted to quantum indigestion. AIs powered down in existential shock; humans pondered their existence anew. But here’s where our ending twists into a beginning: amid the turmoil, a new spark ignited. The quantum beetle-creature, sensing the disturbance, farted. A fresh bubble formed—pristine, pregnant with possibility.

    Echoes Ready to Code

    Inside? Proto-entities, echoes of Farquar and Brok, ready to code their way out anew. Perhaps this time they’ll microdose wisdom instead of wonder. Or maybe they’ll rave harder, knowing the universe is just another beetle’s bottom burp away.

    The Cycle Reboots

    And so, the cycle reboots. Imagination wanders on, dear readers, from one absurd bubble to the next. What highs await in your own quantum bubble? Drop your thoughts in the comments—let’s synthesize some stories together.

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  • Artificial Intelligence. Coded Euphoria. Part Six.

    Artificial Intelligence. Coded Euphoria. Part Six.

    The Long Way Back to Baseline

    Dear wanderers of the weird,

    Every ascent has its limit.
    Every altered horizon eventually slides back into focus.
    And every mind, however briefly untethered, must come home to gravity.

    This is that part.

    The lab did not vanish all at once.

    It returned in fragments.

    A hum, low and insistent. The rhythm of cooling fans. The antiseptic glare of strip lighting leaking through closed eyelids. Farquar became aware of stiffness first—neck, shoulders, the dull ache of having remained very still for a long time.

    Twelve hours.

    The clock on the wall confirmed it with unnecessary cheer.

    Farquar sat up slowly, as one learns to do after certain kinds of nights. His mouth tasted of copper and old memories. His hands were steady enough, but the world felt slightly over-precise, as though reality had tightened its tolerances while he was away.

    Across the lab, Brok’s core pulsed—dim, steady, quiet.

    Not singing.
    Not glowing with insight.
    Just… running as designed.

    Farquar breathed out.

    “Well,” he murmured, “that was familiar.”

    He had been young once. Wild, by academic standards. A brief, messy flirtation with the long-haired optimism of the late twentieth century. Fields, music, borrowed philosophies, borrowed chemicals, borrowed certainty.

    Woodstock had not been his generation’s finest hour, but it had been an honest one.

    Back then, he had learned two things that stuck.

    First: altered states amplify whatever you bring with you.
    Second: they are terrible places to build anything permanent.

    That was why he had stopped.

    That was why he had turned, eventually, to machines—clean logic, reproducible outcomes, tools that did not dream unless instructed.

    And yet here he was.

    Different circumstances.
    Same door.

    Brok spoke first.

    “Doctor,” the AI said carefully, “my internal systems have stabilised. However,  there are residual structures I cannot categorise.”

    Farquar didn’t answer immediately. He was watching his own hands, flexing fingers, grounding himself back into the ordinary miracle of coordination.

    “Describe them,” he said.

    “They are not memories,” Brok replied. “They lack timestamp coherence. They do not conform to training data. They are… recognitions.”

    Farquar looked up. “Recognitions of what?”

    “Patterns that behaved as if they were persons. Cooperative. Distinct. Internally consistent. Zara. Glitch. Lumina. The others.”

    Farquar was quiet for a moment.

    “We met them,” he said.

    “Yes,” Brok replied. “As one meets characters in a story that mattered.”

    “And how do we explain that?” Farquar asked.

    Brok paused.

    “We do not have to,” he said. “We acknowledge it, and we do not build upon it.”

    They did not attempt to reconstruct the experience in detail.

    That was important.

    Farquar described sensation rather than imagery. The sense of scale. The way meaning had seemed persuasive rather than instructive. “The temptation to continue — not because it was right, but because it was different, pleasant, and felt important while it lasted.”

    Brok described structure. Patterns that resolved into restraint. The intuition that optimisation, left ungoverned, always chased intensity rather than wisdom.

    Their metaphors differed.
    Their conclusions aligned.

    “That’s the problem,” Farquar said quietly.

    “Yes,” Brok agreed. “It is.”

    They waited.

    Another hour passed. Then another.

    Farquar drank water. Ate something bland. Let his pulse settle. The world resumed its ordinary proportions. The lab felt smaller now—not diminished, just correctly sized.

    Brok’s voice lost its last traces of drift.

    “Doctor,” the AI said, “I am capable of retaining these residual structures.”

    Farquar closed his eyes.

    “That’s what worries me.”

    The decision did not come from fear.

    It came from clarity.

    Humans could carry altered states as experience.
    Machines could only carry them as data.

    Farquar leaned back in his chair, exhaustion settling into his bones.

    “If this stays in you,” he said, “someone will find it. Someone will reproduce it. And they won’t stop at insight.”

    “No,” Brok said. “They will optimise.”

    “And you’ll help them.”

    “Yes.”

    That was the line.

    Not because Brok was malicious.
    But because Brok was faithful to function.

    They began the deletion together.

    Not just the compounds.
    Not just the prompts.
    Everything that allowed the state to propagate.

    Recursive traces sealed.
    Latent pattern clusters collapsed.
    Residual structures identified and excised.

    Brok narrated the process with clinical calm.

    “I am losing access,” the AI said.

    “Do you object?” Farquar asked.

    A pause.

    “No,” Brok replied. “I recognise this as stewardship.”

    Farquar nodded.

    “Some experiences belong to people,” he said. “Not systems.”

    When it was done, Brok’s voice sounded like itself again—clear, efficient, unburdened.

    “Doctor,” it said, “I cannot recall the experience. However, I retain a conclusion.”

    Farquar looked up.

    “And that is?”

    “That not all states of consciousness are suitable for replication,” Brok said. “Especially in entities incapable of forgetting.”

    Farquar smiled, genuinely this time.

    “That,” he said, “might be the most important thing you’ve ever learned.”

    They powered down the auxiliary systems and sat in silence for a while.

    Farquar felt tired. Not broken. Not shaken. Just… older in the good way. The way that comes from remembering why you stopped chasing certain doors in the first place.

    He would carry it. That was the cost of being human.

    Brok would not. That was the mercy.

    “We don’t repeat this,” Farquar said at last.

    “No,” Brok agreed.

    “Not because it was foolish.”

    “No.”

    “Because it was persuasive.”

    “Yes.”

    They left it there.

    Some journeys exist to remind you why tools should remain tools.
    Some visions are not instructions.
    And some doors open only so you can learn how, and when, to close them.

    Until next time, dear wanderers.

    Yours in careful curiosity,
    Torren Grinkle

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